“You’re so stubborn!” That's something I’ve heard a lot in my life, particularly over the past decade or so as I’ve tried to find ways to help my daughter overcome the effects of a childhood stroke. 

Maybe that’s true, maybe I am “so stubborn”.  I was certainly too stubborn to unquestioningly accept the first opinion that my daughter would probably never walk and that she would most likely be developmentally delayed.  I was too stubborn to accept that there was nothing I could do to help her.   I was too stubborn to accept the countless times that I was told that she had already reached her full potential when I believed that nobody could know that for sure and it was still worth trying to help her.  And, I was too stubborn to give in to the feelings of helplessness that so often overcame me as I tried to figure out what to do next.  

Although it stung every time that I was called “so stubborn” (I’m pretty sure that it was never meant as a compliment...), now, it is something that I am proud of. It is, in part, because I am “so stubborn” that my daughter is perfectly fluent in English and French and holding her own in a mainstream school. It is, in part, because I am “so stubborn” that she has learned to play the violin despite that the use of her right hand/arm is limited and that her first teacher said that it would not be possible.  It is entirely because I am “so stubborn” that I have spent countless hours translating the difficulties that I faced rehabilitating my daughter into a book to try to help others facing similar situations.  

Although I am proud of it, the truth is that the word stubborn is not very nice. It sounds kind of ugly and if you look it up, you will find that it is defined as “unreasonably or perversely unyielding”.  That’s definitely not a compliment.  So, instead of “so stubborn”, I prefer to think of myself as “so dedicated”, “so caring” and “so resilient”.  The outcome is the same, of course, but the description of the action behind it is much nicer.

So, whatever your challenges may be, I encourage you to be so dedicated, so caring and so resilient. And, if that’s not enough, then go ahead and be “so stubborn”.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s a very good thing.